Revelations Of An Idolater


“And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colur, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls… And upon her forehead was a name written a mystery: Babylon The Great, the mother of harlots and abominations of the Earth.”


Despite her awards and credentials, I usually don’t think of Madonna as a musician. As a fan and admirer, I’m more inclined to compare her to a work of art, a controversial “Mona Lisa” brought to life in a bustier.

Like a provocative work of art, Madonna sometimes gives me pause, triggers me to ask questions I wouldn’t normally consider. Such was the case when Madonna opened her 2004 “Reinvention Tour”, when she appeared on screen as the Whore of Babylon and recited verses from “Revelations”.

This essay is not an opinion piece about an artist. It’s not a defense of Madonna’s merits or her talent. This is my take on a portrait. It’s a commentary about fame, an answer to a question Madonna invited me to entertain from behind a velvet rope.

At the Forum in the City of Angels, screaming for Madonna from the seventh row, the irony wasn’t lost on me.  If Madonna was the Whore of Babylon, then I was an abomination drunk on idolatry. More concerning still, such a development meant “the endwas near.

Should this be the case, I wondered – Who amongst us is the beast?

“And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration.”


The Whore of Babylon’s identity is kept a mystery in Bible’s “Book of Revelations”, who or what she is remains unclear. Some have speculated that “she” is not a woman but the Vatican or the city of Jerusalem, while others believe the Whore is emblematic of greed, lust, and power.

Whatever the case, this much is largely agreed upon – the Whore of Babylon plays a pivotal role in the climactic final act of the New Testament. Through her, “the beast” is unleashed.

instagram_hb1newsAlthough I am spiritual, I am no longer religious.  So while I don’t believe Madonna is really the Whore of Babylon, where this portrait is concerned, I concede: She is one hell of a contender.

I suspect Madonna would be flattered by my comment. She clearly enjoys flirting with the role, has invited us all into her bed over the years. Outside of appearance and allure, however, my assessment is more all-encompassing…

With Madonna, I argue, arrived a new kind of celebrity, the modern idol, the reality star. While there are many contributing factors, what made Madonna uniquely famous wasn’t her vocals, her acting, or sex appeal. However talented and attractive, in the end, Madonna’s celebrity was exceptional because Madonna – like the Mona Lisa – was the subject at hand.

30 years later, whether you abhor or idolize her, it’s safe to say – Madonna conquered Babylon. For better or worse, popular culture wouldn’t be the same had we lived in a world without Madonna.

Whether rebelling against the church or championing sexual empowerment, few businesses in modern times have been more industrious and revolutionary than Boy Toy Inc.. To deny Madonna’s influence would be to discount her unparallelled feats, would mean ignoring the Madonna prototype, the wannabees still churning off the conveyer belt 30-years deep.

Like it or not, Babylonians, where false idols are concerned – We are all still living in the “Age of Madonna”.

A Good Christian“And the angel said unto me, ‘Wherefore didst thou marvel?’ I will tell thee the mystery of the woman, and of the beast that carrieth her, which hath the seven heads and ten horns.”


I am a monogamous idolater. Madonna can be pretty demanding and high-maintenance, so the thought of squeezing in a little Gaga on the side, for one, is too exhausting to even consider.

Because of my exclusivity, I admit to getting a little defensive when it comes to Madonna. Over the years, I’ve grown increasingly attuned to the reaction she provokes. As vocal as her fans can be, detractors aren’t shy about despising Madonna out loud. To summarize the negative comments over the years, I’d conclude: Madonna is an untalented, manipulative, greedy opportunist with no moral compass or values, a predatory capitalist feeding on art…

13-04-25-madonna-secret-projectPut more bluntly, Madonna is a whore.

Such responses have always struck me as ironic and misplaced for a woman singing about peace, love, and inclusion, so last August I began writing about the politics of Madonna.

To feature the essays, I chose the website address and pseudonym, Guy Penn, because I felt the name symbolically captured the other men “wed” to Madonna, her legion of gay fans.

As a gay man / recovering Catholic lured by Madonna’s blasphemous ways, the exploratory project was intended to be my long-form look back, my soul-searching answer to the question…

Why do I really like Madonna?

Upon completing my first essay a year ago, I already understood whyWith more time and introspection, however, amidst the 2012 Presidential Election, I began to realize what my secret project was ultimately about…


Although I am an idolater, I wrestle with my admiration for Madonna. Not because I question her talent, grow tired of her music, or find her provocative actions annoying at times; what concerns me most about Madonna is the certain sacrifice any of us make when worshiping at the altar of celebrity.

taurusOver the past year, whenever I completed an essay about Madonna, I felt the need to distance myself. Not because I felt silly or ashamed, but because I feared being swallowed by the illusion of Madonna’s celebrity, which is to say: I had to remind myself that I was writing about Madonna to learn more about me.

On the subject of idolatry, Madonna is quoted as saying, “If you want to pay tribute to me, do something important with your life.” The quote, of course, is echoed by her gospel, Madonna’s urgent call to action to love, dance, and live without inhibitions.

Age and experience (along with Madonna’s insistence) have taught me: it’s okay to dream, but dream out loud. Over the past year, specifically, I’ve realized that being a responsible idolator means Madonna and I must coexist. Although I respect her brand of heresy, the reason I write these essays is not because I adore Madonna. Instead, I’ve come to realize, I write in defense of the reaction she provokes.

revolutionLike Madonna, I too am seeking a revolution. In the context of this article, specifically, I’ve surmised the aftermath of Madonna’s celebrity.  After scanning the crowd all these years, I’m writing today because, at last, my fellow Babylonians…

My eyes are locked upon the beast with seven heads and ten horns.

madonna_whore“And he said unto me, The waters which thou sawest, where the whore sat, are peoples, and multitudes, and nations, and tongues.”


Should I wake up tomorrow and discover it’s judgement day and that Madonna is, indeed, the Whore of Babylon, I wouldn’t hide my idolatry from the almighty. Like pretending to be straight, that would just make me a coward and a liar to boot.

I would, however, step forward and raise my hand in defense of the mother of harlots and abominations. Because only before the wrath of God, under such dire, sobering, apocalyptic conditions, would I have the conviction to note…

Should she be the Whore of Babylon, then Madonna did so while calling upon Babylonians to love one another, unconditionally, without prejudice in our minds and contempt in our hearts.

secretproject3Don’t misunderstand me, Madonna is clearly no Jesus Christ; she operates by a very different code. While I suspect Madonna’s wounds run deep, unlike the son of God, she did not die for our sins…

I am arguing, though, Madonna lives for our sins.

If Madonna is the Whore of Babylon then her story is more reminiscent of our motherless Eve in Genesis, Act I. Stitched into a scarlet wedding gown, ordained in diamonds and pearls, Madonna has come to personify the modern “Bride of Sin” at curtain call. Drunk in a garden of serpents, writhing amongst harlots, thugs, and sodomites, Madonna is the manifestation of Babylon’s demons and fears, a woman feeding on all that is forbidden.

So, why should I idolize such a blasphemous woman?

Because like Eve and Mary Magdalene after her, I contend: Madonna is misunderstood. She isn’t a sinner to be judged, so much as she is the lesson to be learned.

Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t believe Madonna is provocative because she seeks fame and wealth. As an astute pupil of Madonna’s, I argue, fame and fortune are byproducts of Madonna’s ultimate ambition…

Madonna hopes to rule the world, because Madonna wants to save the world. She weathers the ridicule and mockery, hoping to draw our attention to the beast on which she rides, that snarky, venomous little monster lurking within the heart of every Babylonian – Hate.


I rest palms at the Whore of Babylon’s feet, because few prophets, in my lifetime, have endured such ire and criticism in the name of love.

The Gospel According to Madonna resonates with me because Madonna, like Jesus two thousand years before her, braves the sneers and taunting, the righteous indignation of the mob, on behalf of sinners like me.

I gravitate to this portrait, because I am a sinner in the garden of serpents.  Madonna is but the gospel in my heart.

madonna-and-steven-klein-secrect-project-video-inside2I feel that people are becoming more and more afraid of people who are different. People are becoming more and more intolerant.

On the eve #secretproject, I’d like to leave Babylon with a cautionary note…

If the battle before us is fought arming men against women, blacks against whites, straights against gays, Christians against Muslims, Lady Gaga fans against Madonna fans, Democrats against Republicans, etc…  We will all eventually lose.

Before our looming day of judgement, we owe the almighty this moment of candor. The battle before us – always has been, and forever will be – a battle fought between love and hate.

Should we all cease to exist in a post-apocalyptic world, it will be because we ignored the Gospel According to Madonna, we were deaf to her plea to be more Christlike, which is to say: more celebratory, forgiving, inclusive, and kind; less judgmental, spiteful, and cruel.

By definition “apocalypse” means: “a prophetic revelation, concerning a cataclysm in which the forces of good permanently triumph over the forces of evil…”

No more hesitating. It’s time. Pick a side.

Once you do, the revolution begins.



#artforfreedom #secretprojectrevolution

Progressive politics and the politics of Madonna are the subject of “Guy Penn & the Gospel According to Madonna” by Damon Wallace.

For blog updates, follow along through Facebook or Twitter.

Madonna & The Plague


“The light that you would never see.
It shines inside, you can’t take that from me.”
~ Madonna


Prelude to a Dance.

As long as there’s been AIDS, there’s been Madonna.

madonna_aidsWhile the virus that causes AIDS predates Madonna’s fame, during the initial years of the outbreak the illness was referred to as G.R.I.D (Gay Related Immune Deficiency).  It wasn’t until August 1982 that the disease officially became known as AIDS, after the CDC offered “Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome” as a less discriminating alternative.

The summer of 1982 was also when a catchy new track began surfacing in New York City clubs. The pulsating groove was infectious, even Sire Records fell victim to the infused beats.  Later that October the record label signed a deal with the bohemian artist singing on the track, Madonna.

And so it came to be, like many gay men of my generation, my story came to be about a boy and two titans, each equally hellbent on world domination: Madonna and the Plague.

ACT I: “The Kid, the Stalker, and a Magic Poem”

I recall the day I first learned about AIDS.  My dad was reading the Chicago Tribune and tossed the completed front section on the floor.  On the back was a full page article about AIDS symptoms.  Among the many ailments listed: fevers, night sweats, wasting, soars in the mouth, and skin lesions.  And if the symptoms weren’t horrific enough, the article stressed that the disease had been especially devastating to the gay community.

It’s difficult to explain how I felt at that moment, but at best I’d describe it as seismic déjà vu. For a moment, time rippled like a tolling bell; I wasn’t reading an article in the newspaper, something menacing from my future was whispering “hello” in my ear.

screen-capture-37As an only child of working parents, I had a lot of time to obsess about my fears and confusion. Poetry, specifically, helped me write what was unbearable to speak.

With AIDS lurking about, by 1985 my poems centered around survival, my hopes of evading “the stalker”. It may seem irrational to be worried about AIDS at fourteen, but I was just coming to terms with my sexuality and had reservations about both lifestyles ahead. As I saw it, however, the decision wasn’t whether to be straight or gay. I knew what I was. Instead, I saw two very different alternatives:

  • In one life, I’d be a prisoner, locked away in a secret cell, peeping at my life regretfully through a keyhole.
  • In the other, I’d be a fugitive. Although I’d be stalked and likely captured, I’d be free to love who I choose.

Not getting AIDS was never a question.  Should I live life as a gay man, I was certain the disease would be my cross to bear.  Although I didn’t see it this way at the time, my decision ultimately came down a very American question – Was I willing to die young for freedom?

Being gay wasn’t the path I wanted to travel.  Yet despite AIDS, my upbringing, and the likely discrimination I’d encounter, being queer felt more honorable and brave. I had just enough foresight to realize that the alternative – lying, faking love and marriage – would be selfish and destructive for all involved.

13-03-13-madonna-secret-projectI said goodbye to a never-to-be wife, confident it was best for her and the kids. Then I closed my eyes and covered my ears, prayed my heart wouldn’t guide me off a cliff… too quickly.

Stumbling blindly into adulthood, I did my best to avoid AIDS, but it proved to be a futile task. By my late-twenties, AIDS was everywhere, and I was surrounded…

What happened in the mid 90’s is a separate post altogether, but suffice it to say – My pleasures depended on the permission of no one. Call it pent up frustration, but my twenties were reckless and carefree, a stark contrast to the introverted poet I was a teenager.

Unfortunately, because I was carefree in my twenties, I misplaced most of my poems from 1985.  Despite the loss of my journals, there was one poem – a simple rhyme that grew louder with each passing year – that haunted me throughout my adulthood.

In the end, that poem is the reason why I created the website, Guy Penn, and why I’m writing this specific post today…

ACT II: “A Fairy God-Diva named Madonna”

For 2 years, I’d done the impossible, I’d managed to ignore Madonna.

Up until 1985, what I knew about Madonna I didn’t like. I was annoyed with the song “Borderline”, because I thought the title was “Waterline”, and anyone comparing love to water pressure was just weird and not to be trusted. I also remember three girls singing “Holiday” during recess.  When I asked them what they were singing, they started squealing about seeing Madonna at “The Virgin Tour”, which was, by all accounts, totally gross.

But then came one fateful night. I was recording Friday Night Videos with my Betamax VCR, eager to capture my favorite song at the time, “We Are the World”.  The video that followed was “Material Girl”, featuring the one woman missing from the star-studded lineup, the one woman who would one day outshine them all – Madonna, wrapped in a big red bow.

screen-capture-38In the age of AIDS, Madonna became my bedazzled life coach. After so much dark introspection and fear, she had a way of drawing me back to the light.

Where AIDS was scary and grim, Madonna was sparkly, high-octane optimism, a musical cornucopia overflowing with Lucky Stars, Holidays, and Shoo-be-doo’s, reminding me life was to be lived, not feared.

Sprinkling disco beats from her celestial powered mirrored ball, Madonna managed to do the impossible in the mid-80’s – She helped me envision a world more celebratory, inclusive, and kind, where even a queer punk like me could be loved and accepted.

Although I became a Madonna fan because of her music, I remained one because of her support.

  • Madonna fought for gay rights when I didn’t have the esteem or the courage.  She challenged social norms and hypocrisy when others wouldn’t, back when her voice was needed most – When men were dieing, the silence was deafening, and you could hear a pin drop on the disco floor.
  • Madonna songs typically gravitate around love, acceptance, pride, and enlightenment. It so happens, I’m a big fan of each.  As an added bonus, I also enjoy dancing and sex (although I’ve learned to avoid both at once).
  • Above all, I must confess – Madonna bridges me to my youth.  Now in my 40’s, where Madonna is concerned, I’m still young, a giddy uniformed schoolboy, flipping eagerly through the pages of Tigerbeat at a local newsstand.

With a catalog of music spanning 30 years, fans sometimes retrofit their lives to Madonna’s songs, and I am no exception.  The Gospel According to Madonna has always had an uncanny way of capturing pivotal acts of my life.  So much so, at times, I’ve enjoyed entertaining the question – Am I Madonna’s muse?

After one year of Madonna fandom, such a moment occurred. I received a special gift from my Fairy God-Diva, a ballad that poignantly echoed the sentiments of my poem, “Time To Play”.

Sappy, sentimental bloke that I am – writing this post now, looking back at the AIDS pandemic – I like to imagine the ballad contains the middle verses of my misplaced poem, “Time to Play”.

ACT III: “Time Traveling with Madonna”

This past April, I turned 42.  Sitting here now, overlapping my poem with Madonna’s song, I realize – Albeit a couple years late, this post is a promise being fulfilled.

Despite my expectations and adversities, I am a man who lived to tell.  As such, I’m feeling obligated to share a secret that I have learned…

AIDS is not the stalker I once feared.  AIDS is my liberator. It didn’t force gay men out of the closet, it demolished the walls that Adam built, left us naked and vulnerable to the masses.

Over 36 million people worldwide have died since the AIDS crisis began, so I don’t mean to typecast the disease or undermine the magnitude of its horror and devastation. But when I frame the pandemic as bookends, I am humbled by how much the United States, among a growing list of countries, has changed.

28 years ago, I didn’t think people cared if I lived or died, because many believed gays were deviants, sinners worthy of the plague.  Today, however, a majority of Americans support the right for me to marry my partner, believe our love is worthy of protection.

AIDS is not an exclusively homosexual disease. It has broken hearts both straight and gay. But in America we are haunted by its origins. Not acknowledging AIDS for the tectonic shift in popular opinion would be an injustice to all the gay men who fought and died, so that I could live to tell. It would be disrespectful to those who lost lovers, friends or family members to the pandemic, who demanded social change and medical research. And although rarely stated, yet perhaps most noteworthy of all, not acknowledging AIDS influence on our national character would discount the breadth of our collective humanity, our nation’s enduring battle to be a more perfect union.

AIDS is a different kind of love story, one that shines from within. In the end, Madonna and the plague are a matter of perspective. Our reaction to each says more about us than them. In the past 30 years, for better or worse, both AIDS and Madonna refused to be ignored.  Each invited our judgement and indignation, provoked us to reconsider the limitations of freedom and love.

The history of AIDS will prove to be a tragedy written in tears, but its final act is yet to be told.  With the help of outspoken artists like Madonna, however, the moral of this plague is becoming increasingly clear – I entered this fight wounded and alone, but I will leave it healed with a nation uniting behind me.

Whether you pray to a book, wrap yourself in a flag, or are enchanted by a pop star, what matters most are the lessons we learn, how we interpret words written and sung.

The Gospel According to Madonna is certainly open to interpretation. And I don’t presume to speak for all gay men of my generation, the first generation of teenage boys to sexually awaken to a world with AIDS in it.  But I hope a few of my Madonna-luvin’ brethren from the 80’s are comforted by the audacity of this closing sentiment…

Where my soul was concerned, Madonna was the cure for AIDS.


me_madonna1985-copy2 Madonna and Me, 1985

Progressive politics and the politics of Madonna are the subject of “Guy Penn & the Gospel According to Madonna” by Damon Wallace.

For blog updates, follow along through Facebook or Twitter.


Revisited A Decade Later: “American Life”

“I’d like to express my extreme point of view.  I’m not a Christian, and I’m not a Jew.  I’m just living out the American Dream, and I just realized that nothing is what it seems.”

~ Madonna 2003


March 2013 marked the 10-year anniversary of “Shock and Awe”, the launch of the US invasion of Iraq, and the launch of Madonna’s music video, “American Life”, protesting the invasion of Iraq.

Madonna’s 2003 “American Life” video was a commentary about the “social disease” plaguing America leading up to the war. In the video, looking more like the yet-to-be famous Sarah Palin, Madonna croons about living the American dream from jumbotrons at a fashion show. Meanwhile, between cutaway scenes of bombs exploding, models in military-chic uniforms work the runway before the paparazzi and unimpressed affluent audience.

At the time of the video’s release, the backlash was so brutal and unrelenting that for the first time in her outspoken career, Madonna retreated from her detractors and withdrew the video (to see uncensored version click here). On the subject, she said in a statement,”Due to the volatile state of the world and out of sensitivity and respect to the armed forces, who I support and pray for, I do not want to risk offending anyone who might misinterpret the meaning of this video.”

A decade later, there’s something haunting about “American Life”. Knowing what we know now, Madonna’s then controversial video seems more like an accurate foretelling of the past decade than the distasteful, unpatriotic betrayal critics made the video out to be in 2003.

When the United States invaded Iraq in March 2003, I recall how Main Street looked like a 4th of July parade, minus the crowds.  There were US flags, yellow ribbons, and yard signs urging neighbors to “Support the Troops”, but all the action was happening indoors, where Americans were feeding on the 24-hours news coverage of the unraveling war.

Sitting here today and looking back, the greatest atrocity of the Iraqi War is not the manipulation of Americans, the war profiteering, or the deceitful lies that led us to Iraq in the first place. Other than the loss of so many lives, what I find most sobering is how disconnected Americans became from both wars, myself included.

Other than writing this post with a sanctimonious tone, what did I do to support the troops?  Nothing.  Not one protest, care package, donation, or yellow ribbon.  Although I wished for the troops safety, I, like most Americans, ultimately got distracted as the war progressed.  Sure, I scoffed at the mess when it spiraled out of control, demanded change I could believe in, but in the end – I was removed from the horrors of war, a complacent member of the audience, attending the “American Life” fashion show.

american_life(madonna)Thinking back to the reaction against Madonna and other artists, like the Dixie Chicks, who dared to express their opposition to the war, I wonder now – What if I had been more outspoken?  Does it pay to speak the truth in the land of the free?

If Madonna is any indication, arguably “no”. For all intents and purposes, “American Life” marked the demise of Madonna, the American radio star. Preceding the controversy, Madonna had 12 number 1 songs and over a dozen more Top 5 Billboard hits.  Following the controversy, however, Madonna had only 1 song in top five (thanks to Justin Timberlake).

Perhaps it’s mere coincidence that Madonna became “radio irrelevant” after speaking out against the war.  Maybe you can dismiss 20 years of record-breaking success between the years of 1983 – 2003 and call it a fluke, but doing so would mean ignoring Madonna’s success outside America between the years of 2003 – 2013.

  • “Hung Up”, which was released in 2005, is one of the best selling singles of all time by any artists. While the song only peaked at #7 in the US, it broke the Guinness Book of World Records for reaching #1 in 41 other countries simultaneously.
  • Madonna’s 2012 “MDNA” World Tour is the 2nd highest grossing tour for a female solo artist of all time (1st place was achieved by Madonna in 2008 with her “Sticky and Sweet” tour).

The purpose of this article is not to say Madonna is awesome (although there is clearly some of that).  Regardless of whether you love or despise Madonna, as a matter of principle, I’d like the record to show…

Regarding the War in Iraq, Madonna was right, and George W. Bush was wrong.  When we didn’t want to hear it but needed to listen most, Madonna spoke the truth.  And in return, boys and girls, the King’s minions banished the Queen of Pop from the airwaves, where she’d reigned for 20 years.

In 2003, then President of the United States, George W. Bush, manipulated Americans into supporting the invasion of Iraq.  In the aftermath of 9/11, his administration preyed on our grief, fears, and patriotism, and lied about weapons of mass destruction, defrauding the citizens and ideals he swore to preserve and protect.

In rallying for unity, America sacrificed freedom and censored opposing views, discounting the very essence of the democracy that President Bush was peddling for Iraq.

Since the War in Iraq began over 100,000 people have been killed, including over 4,000 Americans.  Perhaps by 2023, once the ground stops shifting beneath me, I’ll have a better vantage of the war’s historical significance.

screen-capture-26In the meantime, this much I’ve learned…

Like it or not, in the past decade war became increasingly fashionable, and although there are obvious exceptions, on the whole, the American public became disengaged from the wars.

Had we been more engaged, we might have demanded justice and insisted that elected politicians atone for war crimes.  But we didn’t.  Because doing so, we were led to believe, would be unpatriotic.

In 2013, what I find unforgivable and un-American is that we didn’t fight more for our armed forces, we didn’t hold our government accountable for the well being of the men and women who sacrificed their lives for our freedom.  A right we ultimately punished the likes of Madonna for valuing and exercising.

Does it pay to speak the truth in the land of the free?  Despite her exile, I suspect Madonna would answer, “Of course, it does.”

After bursting on stage in a Mini Cooper, presumably feeling super-dooper, the “American Life” video ends with Madonna jolting her audience awake…

Freedom is not an illusion, or at least it shouldn’t be.  It isn’t fashionable or chic and should never be taken for granted. Freedom is the result of sacrifice, integrity, and courage.  It requires equal doses of pride and humility, the fortitude to accept our humanity and recognize when we are wrong.

In America, freedom is a measure of character.  It means standing by my convictions and calling out hypocrisy, while fighting relentlessly for my opponent’s right to express their (misguided) views.

Freedom is intended to be a celebration heard throughout the world.  Regardless of how much it may personally pain you, for America in 2013, freedom follows when we can admit together…

Madonna was right.  George W. Bush was wrong.


On December 14, 2011, President Obama announced the end of the War in Iraq.  On cue, a month later, in a formal ceremony watched by millions, Madonna returned home to the United States.

Her performance at the Super Bowl was the most-watched television event in U.S. history, drawing more viewers than the game between the Giants and Patriots.

Ushered into the stadium on a golden chariot pulled by centurions, Madonna’s performance was an over-the-top extravaganza, a fairytale homecoming worthy of an exiled Queen, who once upon a time defied a slack-jawed King and his minions.

Please join me donating to the Wounded Warrior Project.

gp(page_divider2)Progressive politics and the politics of Madonna are the subject of “Guy Penn & the Gospel According to Madonna” written by Damon Wallace. 

For blog updates, follow along through Facebook or Twitter.

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