Note to Progressives: “Be More Like Madonna”

Be Like Madonna

If freedom and capitalism got drunk and had passionate sex, their love child would be Madonna.  And whether you admire or despise their spirited baby girl, let’s agree – Madonna is independence gone wild, liberty run amuck in a corset.

I have a suggestion for progressive liberals that they likely don’t want to hear.  When dealing with our opposition, it’s time to be less politically correct and more like Madonna.

You don’t have to wear a cone shaped bra or gyrate your hips.  I am not asking you to hump the dance floor or grab your crotch on national TV.  I’m simply saying, however you choose to do it, if you’ve got the guts and the urge – speak out, speak often, and speak loudly.  Your voice is needed now more than ever.

Our opposition needs to be challenged and provoked, so lets give Republicans in power something to actually be outraged about. The days of placating conservative hypocrisy and tantrums aren’t acceptable anymore.  The facts are in: the planet is on fire, the middle class has been evacuated, and the luxury yachts bobbing offshore have a maximum capacity of 1%.

Welcome to the apocalypse, the dramatic conclusion of trickle down economics and manufactured morality.  Given the dire circumstances, dancing may seem ill-fitted or inappropriate, but it’s time to fight crazy with crazy, so here’s my advice to my progressive sisters and brothers (and I’m looking at you, Harry Reid)…

Figuratively squeeze into a pair of pink leotards with a plunging neckline, grab your crotch with one hand, extend a middle finger with the other, and tell Republicans in Congress, “Filibuster this.”

However you choose, it’s time to be heard… Speak.

A recent paper found that both conservative and liberal politicians undervalue how liberal their constituents are.  Conservative politicians, specifically, underestimated local support for universal health care and same-sex marriage by as much as 20 percent.

While this disconnect is the result of multiple factors (special interests infiltrating government, the Orwellian mind grip of the conservative entertainment “news” industry, politicians beholden to the donor class, etc…), I place equal blame on progressives, the enablers of our existing political paradox.

Somewhere along the way, we progressives stopped “burning our bras”.  We became less outspoken, substituted our passion for good manners and prudence.  We allowed our opponents to define us, to make “liberalism” a dirty word.  We forgot an important lesson, one that history proves we’re destined to learn again and again…

The conservative moral majority is a myth.  Despite what we’ve been conditioned to think for the past 30 years, the United States is ultimately a progressive nation.  If we weren’t progressive: slavery would be legal, women would be unable to vote, being gay would still be outlawed throughout the land, and Barack Obama wouldn’t have been elected President… twice.

By definition progressive means, “making progress toward better conditions. Favoring or advocating change, improvement, or reform, as opposed to wishing to maintain things as they are…”

Polls consistently show that Americans largely approve of liberal policies. On fiscal and social matters alike, majorities support:

  • Marriage equality
  • Cap and Trade
  • Tax increases to offset the national debt
  • Gun control regulation
  • A woman’s right to choose
  • Campaign finance reform
  • Immigration Reform
  • A Public Option to compete with Health Insurance providers
  • Heck, even legalizing marijuana recently tipped in the Progressives favor

Yet here we are, a nation of hippies (apparently) beholden to an intransigent Republican party that defiantly refuses to compromise with the progressive majority.

Conservatives in power would sooner self-inflict another recession than close a single corporate tax loophole or raise another dime in taxes for the rich. Despite their contributions to the debt (unpaid wars, tax cuts for the wealthiest, and a financial crisis caused largely by deregulation) the GOP insists that the poorest and sickest among us must foot the bill for the Republican fraternity’s binge spending and recklessness.

The only thing more offensive than Republican obstructionism is progressive America tolerating Republican obstructionism.  The recent study only highlights the greatest failure of the modern progressive, what was once our greatest strength – Our ability to be noticed and be heard, to matter… which brings me back to Madonna.

Madonna is the baby boomer that never stopped burning her bra, the hippie still singing about love and peace…. star of the 30-year musical, “The Progressive Activist”.

  • Madonna challenged George W. Bush on Iraq, when many liberals cowered from the fight and found it unpalatable to speak out against the war.
  • Madonna spoke out for gay rights and AIDS research, before it was chic… before even President Reagan had the courage to publicly acknowledge the epidemic.
  • And yes, perhaps most trying of all, Madonna has challenged her sex.

Personal taste aside, Madonna is by most measures “a liberated woman”, living proof that it’s okay to be powerful and girly. People can debate otherwise, but I nonetheless applaud Madonna for being unabashedly unashamed of being a woman. I, for one, take comfort in watching Madonna emasculate her conservative detractors, one poignant crotch grab at a time.

Liking Madonna is not a prerequisite for progressive liberals, but make no mistake – Madonna is emblematic of the progressives’ paradox. Liberals yearn to be a nation more inclusive and kind, yet we discount and hush progressives like Madonna, because let’s face it – Madonna doesn’t fit the conservative mold.

If progressives surrender to Republican hostage taking and conservatives ideals, it won’t be Barack Obama or Madonna’s fault.  “Failure” will be progressives’ to own.  Our generation will be known as “the generation that stopped fighting for the dream”, or perhaps most chilling of all, “the generation that succumbed to dreams and never woke up”.

Be more like Madonna.  Fight crazy with crazy.  Squeeze into a pair pink leotards with a plunging neckline, grab your crotch with one hand, and extend a middle finger with the other.

However you choose, join me in telling Republicans in congress, “Sequester this.”

It’s time to be heard… Speak.

“I can’t keep on waiting for you. I know that you’re still hesitating.

Don’t cry for me. I’ll find my way. You’ll wake up one day, but it’ll be too late.”

~ Madonna

gp(page_divider2)Progressive politics and the politics of Madonna are the subject of “Guy Penn & the Gospel According to Madonna” written by Damon Wallace. 

For updates, follow along through facebook or Twitter.

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  1. Less Pope, More Madonna… That’s what I always say! You should reference the “Freedom of Artistic Expression” press conference that is featured in the middle of the “Live To Tell” performance in her movie Truth or Dare.

  2. Another excellent post. I absolutely love the concept of this blog. 😉

    • Thank you, Sir. As always, I appreciate your support. The concept is coming together, slowly but surely.

      • I see that and couldn’t be more impressed (and a little jealous :-P)… but seriously I used to scare a ton of people with my Madonna/Political comparisons and debates. Lol. It’s refreshing to know I’m not the only person who thinks this way.

  1. Madonna Reveals Being Raped at Knifepoint in Early Years in New York City | All Things Crime Blog

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